How to Make Him Want You

How To Make Him Want You – 16 Must Know Tips

Ah, love. When it comes to matters of the heart, there’s nothing quite as satisfying as knowing that you are the center of his universe and that he will self-destruct without you, is there? Okay, maybe that is a little dramatic but there’s no denying that every woman ultimately just wants to feel wanted by the man in her life. It doesn’t matter if it’s your boyfriend or your husband. It doesn’t matter if you met him through online dating or at the corner store. Whether you’re in a new relationship or trying to rekindle that lost passion with someone you’ve been with for years, here are a few tips on how to make him want you and only you.

The good news is that men are simple creatures and it’s really not that hard to make them pine for you. Ready to find out how? Here we go.

1. Remember that men like a challenge

Man enjoying challenge of dating

There’s a reason why most men won’t ask for directions. It’s because they do not like things on a platter. They enjoy a challenge, thrive on it even. The same logic applies to their love life as well. You could just be honest, pour your heart out and tell him how you feel, but where’s the fun in that?

Men want what they can’t have. They want to win you over, so just give them what they want and let them work for it.

How, you ask? Simple…play hard to get!

For starters, take your time responding to his texts and calls every now and then. Tell him you have other plans when he asks you if you’re free to hang out. Indulge in playful touching but don’t get physical right away. I know this sounds childish but the lesser the attention, the more he will want you. Of course, don’t play so hard to get that he feels ignored. Moderation is always key if you want to make him want you (even later in a relationship).

2. How to make him want you with just a little jealousy

Woman wearing sexy skirt making men jealous

Like I said earlier, men love a challenge. They are hardwired to compete with other men. It’s just the way of nature I suppose. So use it to your advantage and make him want you more by tapping into his competitive side. Innocently tell him about a message some stranger sent you online or about a guy who tried to flirt with you at a bar, and watch his reaction. Upload hot (but not “too” hot) pictures of yourself online that other guys can like and leave comments on.

Knowing that other men find you attractive will instantly make you more desirable to him but this may not work well depending on what kind of man he is – or his confidence level. This also depends on where you both are in the relationship timeline.

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If you already have a partner, try this tactic the next time you go out. Throw on a special outfit that you know you look good and feel confident in. When he sees other men checking you out, he will feel both jealous and proud that he’s lucky enough to actually be with you and that will make him want you badly. Again, don’t go overboard with this, as jealousy can quickly get ugly. Know when to reel it back. Everything in life requires moderation – including a healthy sexual tension in the relationship.

3. Be mysterious

Woman texting mysteriously on phone

It is a known fact that most men are bad listeners. It’s the reason why mysterious women are so much more attractive to us. So, when you first start seeing a guy, don’t tell him your entire life story in one go. I promise you, we don’t have the attention span for it. Keep a little mystery, tell him just enough to keep him intrigued, and he will automatically want to know more about you.

On the flip-side of that, when a man comes on strong and starts telling you everything about himself, don’t be put off by it. It means he is extremely interested and his excitement has got the best of him. Far too often women find this behavior unattractive when they really need to be open minded about it.

4. Have your own life

Woman enjoying summer day on canoe

I cannot stress this point enough! Men love independent women who don’t need a man to complete their lives. Just because you like someone and enjoy being around them, doesn’t  mean your life has to revolve around them 24/7, right? Whether you’re just starting out with someone new or have been with someone for a while, remember that at the end of the day, you are two individuals and you are allowed to have separate hobbies, plans, and even friends.

Don’t always drop your existing plans or hit pause on your life for a guy. Of course, there are always exceptions but it’s important to show him that you are your own person. If you want to make him want you more, understand that valuing your own life, friends, and plans will increase the attraction and independent levels in many ways within his mind.

5. Make an effort to look good

Woman's cosmetic make up brushes in front of flowers

Call us shallow, but the fact of the matter is men are visual creatures and looks do matter. I don’t care what ANYONE says on this topic. If you do not appear attractive to the man you are trying to impress, it will not work.

Sex appeal matters. You don’t need to make the pants rise on every man that walks by you, but you SHOULD be visually appealing to one man… the man you want to be with or are already with. So, whether you’re trying to impress someone new or old, go that extra mile every now and then. Throw on a hot little outfit, wear those uncomfortable (or comfortable) sexy heels, put on some makeup, add some provocative lingerie to boot and I guarantee that you will have him down on his knees in more ways than one.

6. Show him your fun side

Woman being playful with her boyfriend

Of course looks matter but they will only get you so far. If there’s anything we’ve learned from a romantic comedy, it’s that at the end of the day, a lasting impression comes from an infectious personality. No one wants to be around a “Negative Nancy” who can’t ever see the bright side of things.

Men love a woman they can laugh with, just as much as women want a man who can make them laugh. So, don’t be afraid to have fun, crack a few jokes, tease him playfully, laugh at yourself, and be open to adventure! A sense of humor is your ultimate weapon to make him want you and dream about you – in more than one way.

7. Be open minded when it comes to sex

Woman in underwear straddling man in cowgirl position

I have three words for you when it comes to the bedroom, spice it up! Of course, you don’t have to blindly follow whatever he says, but be open minded and don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. Better still, take charge and give him subtle (or not so subtle) hints that you’d like to try something new.

When you’ve been together for a while or if you’re already married, it’s easy to stick to what’s familiar and that can quickly become predictable and boring. So think outside the box and take him by surprise. Send him naughty messages (and pictures) throughout the day and build up his anticipation, try role playing (sexy teacher-bad student anyone?), bring out the toys, treat him to a strip tease, offer to give him a naked massage, get in the bathtub together, talk about your fantasies, even something simple as sexy new lingerie will make him weak in the knees. The options are endless!

Do not do anything when it comes to porn however. Porn is one of the most destructive intrusions into a healthy relationship, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I won’t go too much into detail about it here – but just don’t agree to watch it or use it, etc..

8. Stroke his ego

Woman stroking man's ego by kissing him

Ah, men and their egos. While this article is about how to make him want you, just remember, that’s pretty much what he wants too! To feel like he’s desired, appreciated, and wanted.

This is especially true for long-term relationships where partners tend to become complacent and take each other for granted. So don’t be afraid to tell him how handsome he looks, or how his cologne is turning you on, or how amazing he was in bed last night. Compliments will take you everywhere, ladies! Just remember to keep it genuine. No one wants to listen to obvious lies about themselves.

9. Don’t be clingy

Woman upset for acting clingy

Like we’ve established time and again in this article, everyone just wants to feel wanted. And while it’s important to let him know that you’re thinking of him, bombarding him with endless messages and calls will push him away faster than you can imagine. Needy and clingy women are never attractive, so know when to back off and give him his space. Don’t mistake that for going “dark” or silent though.

For example, when you’re at a party together, don’t cling to his side the entire time. Excuse yourself and mingle with the crowd near him. Look his way a couple of times, maybe wink at him playfully and let him see you work the crowd. It will drive him wild.

Despite what some people may say, it is healthy to take a little break from each other every now and then.  So don’t take it personally if he falls off the grid for a couple of days or doesn’t show as much affection as he used to. Just immerse yourself in your own life for a while and I promise you, he WILL miss you and come back for more.

Men require somewhat-frequent mini-breaks to rebuild that heightened sense of attraction. Think of it like the off-season for someone who loves a particular sport. By not playing it for a while, it increases the desire when it’s game time. You are not his game of course, but the desire analogy needs to be understood.

10. Don’t be high maintenance

A high maintenance woman shopping for clothes

There’s nothing wrong with wanting material pleasures but when your relationship becomes more about the things that he can provide rather than the relationship itself, I promise you, it won’t last.

Do not be a celebrity. Be yourself and be down to earth. That kind of behavior will only go so far.

He needs to know that you want to be with him for him and not for his money. Besides, high maintenance women are impossible to please with their endless expectations and who wants to deal with that? I don’t know a single man who would want any long term relationship with someone who always needs to be entertained and on the go. Show him that you’re easy going and that you don’t need expensive gifts and gestures to make you happy and you will make him want you in many different ways.

11. Flirt away

Blonde woman flirting with camera

This one is an “oldie but goodie”. Flirting is a two-way street, so if you desire to show yourself on how to make him want you more and show you emotional love & connection, do the same with him.

If you are with someone new, try more subtle flirting techniques. Stare deep into his eyes (without being creepy) when you’re talking to him. Break eye contact for just a second and look down at his lips, then look back up again. Lean into him when you’re in a crowded place and whisper something into his ears. Make sure your lips touch his ears just a little bit when you do that.

Touch his arm or shoulder gently when he says something interesting or funny. Play with your hair absentmindedly. Slide your foot close to his so that there is some contact without making it awkward. When you hug him hello or goodbye, let the hug linger for just a couple of seconds longer than usual.

All of these techniques will make his heart skip a beat or two. Remember not to go overboard with the flirting, especially when you don’t know how he feels. The idea is to flirt just enough to make him want you more, not to make it seem like you’re “easy”.

The thing with long term relationships is at some point, regular life takes over and flirting goes out the window. Bring back the magic by taking your flirting game up a notch. Never underestimate the power of unexpected touching, even in a seasoned relationship. There’s just something so primal about it and let’s face it, actions do speak louder than words.

Go clubbing together and grind against each other like the good ol’ days if that is something you both enjoy. Hold hands, give him unexpected kisses, reach into his back pocket and give him a playful bum squeeze when you’re in a crowded elevator, or let your breasts graze against his arms “accidentally”.

Another guaranteed way to drive him crazy is to send him sexy texts throughout the day. If you’re at the point in your relationship where you trust him 100 percent, send him a naughty picture with an “I can’t wait to see you tonight” message. Guess who’s going to be thinking of you all day long after that?

12. Smell good

Brunette woman holding yellow flower

As science has proven, pheromones are real, extremely powerful, and have the ability to really turn on a man. So make sure you always smell heavenly when you meet him! When it comes to shampoos, body lotions, and perfumes, choose scents that are sensual without being overpowering. More importantly, do not keep changing your perfumes. Let him get used to YOUR smell. As he becomes more emotionally invested in you, even your scent will make him want you more subconsciously.

Associating a particular smell with you will bring nostalgia and feelings of love and warmth into his heart. So, don’t change it up often and make sure he can still breathe while around you. As just stated – nothing is worse than having to turn your head for a gasp of fresh air because someone laid the perfume on so thick.

13. Recreate a date from the past

Brunette woman recreating nostalgic date

Everyone is a sucker for nostalgia and for going back in time. Try to remember a fun date, one that was filled with laughter or one where you couldn’t keep your hands off each other and recreate it. Not only will he appreciate your effort, but just talking about that particular date will bring back fond memories and all the feelings attached to it. What better way to relive the good times and make him want you more?

14. Say the magic word

Woman sweet talking to her man

Nicknames are adorable and all that, but there’s something about saying his name every now and then that will give him a special kind of rush. The next time you’re doing the nasty, whisper something like “Oh *enter name*, that feels so good” into his ears and watch him melt like silly putty. Granted, I don’t really recommend getting too heavy unless you have two rings on your finger, but that is another topic for another day.

Using his name while dirty talking will most definitely drive him crazy but try the same thing even during regular conversations. It creates a special connection and will ensure that you have all his attention. As always, do not overdo it or it will lose its effect.

As you may have guessed – everything in moderation makes everything THAT much better.

15. Never stop trying

Woman walking in jean shorts - not giving up on dating

If I could give long term couples only one piece of advice, this would be it. Nothing kills a relationship faster than becoming too complacent and taking each other for granted. It leads to communication problems and that is a killer.

Being comfortable with one another is awesome, but never stop going that extra mile if you want to keep the passion alive. It requires just as much work 20 years in as it does when you first started dating.

  • Take a break from your favorite restaurant and try a brand new place with funny sounding foods instead. If nothing, you will get a kick out of trying new things.
  • Do something you never do together anymore.
  • Put your phones aside and just cuddle and talk.
  • Make small but noticeable physical changes to grab his attention, for example, if you’re someone who always wears jeans, try a sexy dress on date night instead or get a haircut or a bold new hair color.
  • Travel is also a great way to reconnect with your partner. Pick a place, pack your bags, and go, even if it’s just for a weekend. There’s nothing like new places and new experiences to rekindle that lost spark.
  • Try something adventurous together to get your hearts racing. All that adrenaline will definitely make him hot and heavy for you.

Just never stop trying and your relationship will always be as good as new.

16. Love yourself first

A woman learning to love herself

In the words of Oscar Wilde, “To love oneself, is the beginning of a life-long romance”.

I know you’ve heard this one time and again but trust me, you can’t learn how to make him want you if you don’t love and want yourself. Confidence is extremely sexy, but how can you be confident if you don’t have any self-love? So, look into the mirror and tell yourself that you may be imperfect but you are amazing.

If there are aspects of your body or life that you’re unhappy about, remember that only YOU have the power to change it. Distance yourself from people and things that bring you down, weed out the negatives, and always look at the positives. It is going to be a long road, but once you really start to love and believe in yourself, there will be no stopping you!

That’s the way the cookie crumbles, ladies. It is really not that hard to win a man’s heart and learn how to make him want you and want to win yours. It all comes down to the right amount of attention and flirting and a whole lot of self-love. Armed with these tips, I guarantee that you can make him want you – body, mind, and soul!