A woman and a man leaning against each other in the sunset

Catch Him And Keep Him Forever

  • March 10, 2016 /
  • By Blayne Ketcham

Learn How to Catch Him First … and Then Keep Him

Did you know that you can catch most of the men you’re interested in? Women have invisible power in a relationship. It’s just about using this power properly and for a good purpose. A lot of the time, women get so excited in a certain situation (that a man may be the right one for them), that they end up overlooking really important details. If you want to catch a guy and keep him as your man, boyfriend, lover, or even husband, there are some ground rules that need to be kept in mind. Now, whether you have read Christian Carter’s Catch Him and Keep Him book, my own Source of Attraction relationship course, or any other of the countless books on Amazon when it comes to catching a man, I want you to clear your mind for a moment.

I want to share some useful techniques with you. You can create your own “Keep Him Techniques” book using this information. Let’s get started.

woman's hand on man's shoulder showing engagement ring

Before we get into those secrets and before I share some proven relationship advice tips with you, you must understand something. This “something” is the story of every woman who has felt a desire for a certain man, to find a man perfect for her, but was left hurt, frustrated and upset, due to the fact that she was invisible to him.

It is a common scenario… a woman may see a man she likes, but he doesn’t seem to be paying much attention to her. Maybe he shows some interest, but she has no idea on how to proceed from that point forward or catch his attention. “Why can’t I just catch him and keep him to myself damnit!” she mutters. Well, some ladies don’t even know if he knows they exist. That’s a bad situation to be in.

Some women I’ve known would sit and wallow in their misery at this very fact. Thankfully, they have become wiser with age and now hold the same “secrets” I’m going to discuss with you briefly. These items are important in getting a man’s attention and more importantly, keeping it.

Men like to pretend that they’re the logical sex … the brilliant ones who can figure out stuff. In reality, men are scatter-brained and catching their attention and getting them to do what you want is a matter of getting them to focus. It is also a matter of understanding them. Understanding is a huge component which I discuss in my email series. When you understand a man, you will keep him far longer if not forever.

Here’s another thing… if the guy you like can’t seem to get a clue about how great you’re, then it is your job to make him notice.

I know, I know, I know, a woman’s work is NEVER done. Wouldn’t you agree? But hey, this is the price you pay for associating with us lovable men. We drive you crazy, but you can’t live without us either, so let me show you how to circumvent “the system” and go straight for the gold.

Think like him

woman thinking like a man

All of your failures so far were caused by one mortal mistake you have been making: thinking like a woman.

This, ladies, is your ultimate downfall. You’re a woman and you think like a woman. Don’t get me wrong, you’re fantastic, but when you’re trying to get a guy’s attention, thinking about what you would like can prove to be a real problem.

It’s not true 100% of the time, but in 95%+ of cases, you must switch gears and think about what makes men WANT to come to you or notice you. What you need to do instead, is put yourself in his shoes.

Do that by asking yourself:

  • What is he thinking?
  • What does he like?
  • What does he see when he looks at you?

In order to catch something, you need to think like that “something”. In this case, it is a human being and specifically, a man. You must retain your feminine attractiveness and behavior yes, but you need to sit down and think like him – or at least attempt to think like him. This will keep him around you.

You are wired differently so it won’t be easy, but it will give you great insight into the way he behaves, which will ultimately help you keep him in the long run.

If you think we see things in the same colors, boy, are you wrong! Let me give you a specific example.

Let’s say that you know you’re going to see this cute guy you like at a party tonight, so you dress up. You get a trendy new dress (neon green), fake tan for the occasion and put your highest heels on. In your eyes, you look smoking hot. (Maybe you’ve done this, maybe you haven’t – but MANY women have.)

But what does he see? That is the real question.

He sees an orange girl who used too much hairspray, wearing a dress that is blinding him. He is also probably worried that you’re going to break your neck dancing in those heels and he’s already planning how to catch you when you fall. The bottom line is that you tried too hard and went too far in the wrong direction and he is not impressed. He may be impressed in only one or two areas, such as visual stimulation or humor, but everything needs to be in place for him to open himself up to you.

Let’s take a closer look at the differences between the male view and the female view:

Talking about your family

woman talking on phone about her family

What you see: sharing your life and allowing him to get to know you better
What he sees: boring conversations that he tunes out in order to think about banging you

Inviting you over for coffee

man woman kissing coffee

What you see: an opportunity to talk and get to know him better

What he sees: an opportunity to undress you and get to know your naked body better (after the usual conversations)

Plans for the weekend

couple holding hands on sidewalk

What you see: a chance to spend some time together, just the two of you

What he sees: a desire for commitment. He may leave and never come back! (not all men would do this, only emotionally unavailable men)

It’s a whole new world and you have to learn the rules. Doing it on your own can be tricky, but that’s why I’m here. I’m going to give you some insight into what makes men tick and how you can get inside their heads, in order to better sink yourself in his mind, permanently.

Sneaky? Sure. Cheating? Maybe. Worth it? Definitely.

I do not want you getting caught with your pants down or browsing online dating sites for the rest of your life. Print out these tips and save them as a PDF if you have to. Make a book out of it. Do what you have to do, but just remember that all women go through mental reviews in a man’s mind and it all starts with what he sees.

If he likes what he sees, he will attempt to catch it and keep it forever. Let’s begin.

Men are visual creatures

blonde woman in pink dress crossing street

Something you need to know from the get-go is that men are visual creatures. Before you jump with the obligatory, “But I like looking at hot guys, too!”, let me say that, of course, there are visual women in the world. But generally speaking, men are vastly more susceptible to the visual aspect and while women are more easily turned on by words and the bonding aspect of emotional connection, it’s the visual that does it for them (at first).

Armed with this knowledge, you have to play up your most attractive features; this way, you’re basically not giving him any option, but to notice you. You cannot get a man to notice you and your emotional aspect unless he SEES you first.

So…

Where do you start?

woman lost foggy road forest

The first thing I want to say is that this isn’t going to be one of those teen movie transformations where the nerdy girl lets her hair down and takes her glasses off and is suddenly hot. I am in no way advocating for you to change who you are or the way you look, just to appeal to some guy. That has “bad” written all over it.

What I’m talking about is learning how to highlight the best of what you already have and be proud of your assets. Keep your own unique style. Highlighting your best features can be done easily with the help of some smart sartorial choices (fashion).

Don’t hide your body

woman wearing blue mini skirt in grassy field

How is a guy going to get a chance to take a good look at you, if you’re always hiding under that muumuu? Your figure is nothing to be ashamed of. You’re beautiful the way you are and even if you are not 100% confident in your body (not many people are), there are surely some parts of it that you are willing to put on display.

Playing up your figure is not wrong; it’s yours, and you have the right to be proud of it. If you’ve got it, why not own it?

Highlighting your body doesn’t have to be slutty. Slutty looking clothing is also not the best course of action if you want to keep the guy long term. Allow me to explain.

Know what to show and when to show it

woman bikini ocean wave beach

In youth, many girls fall prey to this misguided idea of “more is good”. Girls go out with their legs out, their boobs hanging half out, and everything else too in the hopes that may catch some dude’s attention. The attention they received was only fleeting. They sure “caught” a lot of guys but they couldn’t keep any of them and none of it lasts. It was nothing but eye appeal for the evening.

They were already showing “the goods”. Men came and took “the goods” and then they left.

Over the years, these girls learn that not showing everything is way sexier than showing everything. Imagination and positive sexual tension is VERY powerful. Sensuality can be found in what you can’t see, in what is hidden in the shadows, in what one can imagine is hiding behind the fabric. I can tell you from experience that once they started putting this lesson into practice, their success rate increased dramatically.

A good rule of thumb is only to show one thing: either cleavage, legs, or back for example. This way, you allude to what is there and what the man in question can uncover, but you’re not putting all your cards on the table, so to speak. Do it in a classy manner too. Depending on your age, classy will achieve what you are seeking.

Take advantage of your best features

brunette smiling with silky hair

Do you have beautiful hair? Then let it down, honey. Are your eyes mesmerizing? Play them up with lashings of mascara. Do you have clear, dewy skin? Then don’t cake it in layers upon layers of foundation. A million-dollar smile? Flash it on every opportunity. It’s all about being aware of what is attractive about you and playing up that feature.

Dolling yourself up from top to bottom is fun for you, but it can be overwhelming (in a good way) for a man. The bottom line is to work it, girl!

Actions vs. Words

woman in park writing in notebook

You know how there’s a running joke about women who talk incessantly and the men who are dying inside while women just run their mouths and yap all day long? Well, as much as I hate giving into stereotypes, there is some truth in the matter. Women love to talk. Talking is fun for women, it’s therapeutic, and it’s useful because it ensures that females make themselves understood.

Talking is essential because communication stands at the basis of every successful interpersonal relationship. However, you have to know something about men: they do not talk as much as they “grunt”. They do not love talking, at least not for long periods of time, and they are zero impressed with your excessive yapping.

So, something you have to remember right from the start… is that talking is not how you get a man’s attention and it’s certainly not how you keep him around you, let alone catch him.

Talking like a normal human being and carrying a conversation is a desirable trait. Getting on your cell phone and talking non stop for the entire train ride home is not desirable. Learn the difference between the two.

Save your stories for when you get manicures for your best friends; guys are not interested in your stories of who sat next to who in yoga.

Women are people of words. But then what does that mean for men?

Men are people of action. Talking is a waste of time; what they want to see is stuff getting done. Therefore, what do you think is the best way to get a cute guy’s attention?

Stop playing games, beating around the bush, dropping subtle hints and expecting him to pick up on them and attempt to catch you with invisible mind telepathy. Instead, take the bull by its proverbial horns and act upon your intentions, if he hasn’t already acted and if you think it is a one time chance.

Approach him

woman wearing bikini approaching camera

The unwritten rules of dating state that the girl is to play coy, bat her lashes and wait for the guy to come over and talk to her. There are a myriad of problems with this scenario, but I’m not going to delve into all of them now. I’m only going to say this… you could be waiting all night long for that guy to come over and catch you, but he may never do it.

The reason I am personally with the love of my life is because she approached me first. If she hadn’t, I may not have ever seen her or talked to her. Sometimes, you just have to make a move. It doesn’t mean taking the lead and not allowing him to chase and catch you or romance you.

It is however, 2016. If we’re all about equal “this and that”, there is nothing wrong with simply saying HELLO to a man and letting it play out from there. If he likes you, he will try to keep you around.

In fact, if you play by the “rules”, you could be waiting your entire life for a man to approach you. Is that what you want?

I say screw the rules! It’s incredibly sexier to see a woman who has the guts to go over and approach a man she likes. It is also VERY attractive.

Sure, you are running the risk of being rejected, but, let’s be real, here, that chance is slim because almost any man will be completely taken aback and impressed by a woman who is confident enough to go after what she wants. He will want to keep you by his side and please you.

The odds are highly in your favor.

The benefits are multiple:

  1. You take control of the situation, instead of waiting around for the man to come over
  2. You score confidence points
  3. You don’t waste time pretending you don’t want to catch him or do not want his attention
  4. You turn him on by taking control

Make your intentions clear

woman holding sparkler

Once you’ve gotten over the most difficult part (working up the courage to approach a man you are attracted to), the next step should come with ease. Your best bet is to make yourself clear from the very beginning; you are attracted to him and you would like to:

  1. Get to know him
  2. Date him
  3. Both of the above

Feel free to choose whatever applies to you. One thing is certain; any guy will be way more inclined to stick around because he will be intrigued by your confidence and direct approach. Men are so used to women playing around and not really being assertive, that when a girl who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to say it, is a veritable breath of fresh air.

He will try to catch you and place you in his “love bubble”, keeping you safe and making you laugh.

In my own experience and after conducting impromptu surveys among my male friends, I have discovered that they are more likely to be long-term interested in a woman who displays this type of behavior. Why?

Because it’s so different, that they just have to see what else is hiding “in there”. You’re mysterious and new and who knows what else you have to offer? Can you say sweeeeet?

Playing hard to get: Catch him or let him catch you?

couple sitting on break wall by water

I know I’ve been talking about “catching” him. However, the key to success in this endeavor is to make him believe that he is the one who is catching you. If there is one thing I know for sure, is that men are hunters. It has been scientifically proven that the hunter gene is strong with them and it is their biological nature to go after what they perceive as slippery, difficult to catch or unattainable.

Do you consider yourself slippery?

Like a lot of people, men want what they can’t have and that is definitely true in their relationship with women. They will say that they “hate playing games”, but with all due respect, that is bullshit.

They love the game. They love chasing a girl who doesn’t want to be caught and they love winning that one chick who is always slipping through their fingers. So, how can you spin this biological reality to your advantage?

Don’t make yourself too available

female friends laughing together

Everything in a balance. Let me guess… you have, at some point, made the mistake of thinking that making yourself available to a guy is a good way to get his attention. By now, you probably know that the opposite is true. If you make yourself too available to him, a few things will happen:

  1. He loses interest because “getting” you is not exciting
  2. You don’t challenge him, so he looks for someone else who does
  3. He perceives you as easy or clingy

Once he realizes that when he says “jump” – you say “how high”… it’s over. He either gets bored or he even loses respect for you.

Having someone who is always there, no matter what, sounds appealing, but when you are dealing with that in real life, you discover that it’s boring and slightly suffocating. Don’t make that mistake.

Playing hard to get may earn you the label of “tease”, but that’s just the bitterness in him talking. Remember that hard to get does not mean taking him home, letting him do anything but the “main event” and then sending him home, because doing that on purpose is not cool.

What I’m talking about is something that I know is effective, being unavailable and mysterious.

Allow me to give you some examples:

  • Don’t answer every phone call
  • Don’t tell him where you are at all times
  • Cancel some dates (but always reschedule)
  • Don’t be available all the time when he calls
  • Don’t answer any booty calls (never)
  • Make it clear that you have options
  • Don’t accept rude behavior
  • Don’t let him take you for granted
  • Spend time on your own interests
  • Show him that you have your own life
  • Stand up for yourself
  • Call him out on his mistakes and hold him accountable
  • Gauge his interest level and show the same amount of enthusiasm

Can you really catch him and keep him using these tips?

There are other aspects to this strategy which I discuss in my emails, but this should give you an idea. The aim here is to make him understand that you are not his doormat. You are confident and independent and you don’t need him. You choose to keep him around, but if he messes up, he is out the door.

This is not only very sexy, but it’s also interesting, challenging and it forces him to respect you.

If you make it clear that you don’t need him, he will be incentivized to retain your interest. Does that make sense? You intrigue him and he wants to stick around, so he needs to be on his best behavior. This is what makes him love you and cherish you.

Misguidedly being available to him 24/7 out of love, kills the spark and inadvertently leads the relationship to its untimely demise. Be smart about it and keep your life your own and you will see the effects with your own eyes.

What are your thoughts? Let me know below 🙂

About: Blayne Ketcham

Blayne Ketcham offers a ton of dating advice & a relationship program for women. After going through his free email-advice series, you’ll understand how men think & what they truly desire. You’ll also discover how to connect with any man using one simple method. This blog contains general thoughts and ramblings about relationship problems.

follow me on:

Leave a Comment: